Right after dinner, I decided to enter lucid dreaming using the direct method. To that end, I started implementing the dotting technique (concentrating my attention on different parts of the body). However, I encountered difficulties during relaxation: I could not stop my mind from getting distracted with other thoughts. Only with great difficulty was I able to concentrate on the task. I kept to relaxation. Then, I once again employed dotting for about 20 minutes, but nothing worked. However, weak vibrations arose from time to time. Meanwhile, I became more and more sleepy. At one point my conscious awareness checked out, but then quickly came back (this didn’t seem to last more than a minute, which was confirmed by my alarm-clock upon returning to the body) under the influence of my preliminary intention not to fall asleep. I then began to feel alert and was enveloped by vibrations, which occurred on their own in amid the transition between physiological states. I was easily able to amplify the vibrations.
Then I rolled out. However, the vibrations began to die down, and I was returned back to my body. I tried to separate again by climbing out. I was able to do this despite great difficulty. I was now suspended in an indeterminate space of vague sensation. While separating, I felt a strong feeling of discomfort that nearly persuaded me to cut the attempt short. However, I knew that that this sometimes happens and always occurs before plunging into a more stable lucid dreaming. In order to deepen this lucid dreaming, I decided to employ levitation.
It succeeded, and I derived real pleasure from this process. For some reason, the levitation did not lead me into the deepest lucid dreaming, and so I began to fall head-first in order to further deepen it.
The movement and deepening brought a feeling of slight uneasiness that bordered on fear, but I was able to keep it under control from the outset. I soon realized that I was in the deepest state that I had ever been in. This increased my anxiety. For the sake of experiment, I kept going deeper and deeper. I began to have thoughts about the impossibility of returning to the body from such depths. My vision faded in and out, because I was made uncomfortable only by my feelings, and not by what I could see around. Once my vision came to me, what I saw cannot be described in words. That’s how uncommon, indescribable, and realistic it was. It was as if I were seeing with some other organ of sight, one far more advanced than the human eye. I couldn’t feel my body (neither my real or phantom one).
For the first time in my life, I physically felt my thoughts: when I started thinking about something, I begin to automatically move through space. Meanwhile, I could clearly tell that my thoughts were causing this movement. My brains were somehow being wracked by thought. (this was the first time I had ever had this experience, and so I can’t say how realistic it was, or if it could actually be experienced in a normal state. Nonetheless, the sensation was quite realistic). Realizing how deep I was in lucid dreaming, I decided to get out of there, as I was afraid for my life. As it is easy to suppose, this was, to put it lightly, not easy. I began to feel fear. I was completely unable to enter my body or get control of it. Once was finally able to feel it, it felt like someone else’s. Contrary to my expectations, even concentrating on my big toe did not help. Instead of getting me out of that state, relaxation deepened it. Then, I got completely lost: what normally helped wasn’t working, and there were no other effective methods to employ. After long desperate attempts, I finally managed to enter my body. This only happened thanks to attempts to move any body part I could, in addition to concentrating on breathing.