TheOnerous's blog of failures

[TheOnerous]

Thought I'd emulate Edison and find a thousand things that don't work in the hope that I'll find one that does. I'll be trying lots of different experiments regarding phase entry and things to do in the phase (for example - finding the best ways to create music in the phase). Since about the 16th of March 2012 I've been concentrating on the indirect techniques because, after much experimentation with other techniques (such as Mild, Wild) I think it's the approach that suits me best and offers the best opportunities for growth as a phaser. 

I'll post when I can. Feel free to chip in if you have any thoughts! There will be two types of posts: attempts where I recall a previous night's attempts, and thought experiments and theories where I run into "What if...?" territory and speculation.

[TheOnerous]

Last night I tried...not trying. Had a decent long dream about being at work. Was quite mindful at times in the dream and had a look round the room I was in. I couldn't get the phone to work though - that's recently been a theme in my dreams.

[12padams]

"TheOnerous's blog of failures" is a really bad name. Its sets you up for failure. Trust me its all to do with confidence... take the lucidology 101 course I took on my journey for example... It produced the most success (2 phases in 3 days) only because I had the most confidence in it. If your confident you will succeed

[TheOnerous]

I probably wasn't clear, but the name was deliberately and carefully chosen. It embraces the fact that creativity often occurs after you've taken many steps back so you can take one step forward. 

[TheOnerous]

Felt ill last night, so no LD attempts.

Recall good though, with two clear dreams.

[TheOnerous]

Attempt

Became aware of an awakening when a dream ended. Couldn't separate though. Cycled three techniques and while swimming - on the third cycle - I got an image of two guys shouting, but couldn't use it to enter dream. I possibly tried too hard to focus on them?

[TheOnerous]

Went to bed intending to do indirect techniques but decided to be more relaxed about going to sleep and concentrate on recall. Had 3 non lucid dreams. Considering attempting indirect techniques tonight.

[TheOnerous]

Attempt

Night for indirect attempts.

Attempt 1) Couldn't separate. Cycled: Visualising, swimming, and rotation. No effect.

Attempt 2) Couldn't separate. Cycled: Visualising, swimming, and rotation. A hint of some rotation on the final cycle but couldn't amplify it.

Attempt 3) Success. Tried to leave body through my head but kind of pinged forwards instead into the dream. Went flying (forgot to palpate). Recall was poor.

Looking forward: Break now until the weekend. Will make more attempts to remember to deepen once phase begins and pursue dream goals more diligently.

[TheOnerous]

Will attempt indirect techniques again tonight. Will set my alarm for 4am. On waking, will try to separate then cycle visualizing, hearing, swimming and rotating. Will remember to palpate if enter phase tonight, then try to push a hand into my body.

[TheOnerous]

Attempt

Attempt 1) Felt myself waking up from a dream. Remembered to keep still and immediately tried to separate, three times. Couldn't separate, so cycled techniques. No response from techniques. Went back to sleep with intention, but my daughter woke me at 5.30.

Will try again tonight.

[TheOnerous]

Attempt

Attempt 1) Success. Felt myself kind of slumbering in and out of a dream and tried to separate. Found myself at the end of the bed. I tried to remember my intentions (to palpate and teleport to a local beauty spot) but for some reason I incorrectly remembered my intention as being to fly. I flew towards the window and passed through the curtain. There was rain on the window and when I passed through the window the glass kind of stuck to my face for a bit. I increased my intention to pass through the glass and found myself flying above the street from my childhood. It was quite dark but I could see everything clearly. I shouted something out (can't remember what exactly, maybe "clarity"!) and flew above the road. I spotted someone running in the road. They were dressed like a Jedi knight, in a robe with a hood over the top. They were shadow boxing as they ran. I shouted out, "Hey, runner - stop!" I flew down and it was a woman who was half CGI. I said, "What's your name?" She said, "Aslan" and rolled her eyes. I woke up. I tried to separate again without success, then cycled techniques without success. Went back to sleep with intention.

Attempt 2) I dreamed I was about to take part in a TV quiz show. All the contestants (about 20) were in one room together. The floor suddenly gave way and we all dropped. As I fell, I wondered if it was part of the show. The sensation was very real. I woke in bed and immediately tried to separate but couldn't. I cycled techniques, but I was feeling a little nauseous after my "fall" and struggled to focus on them. I went back to sleep.

Plans for tonight: Will set alarm for 4am and try indirect techs. Then, will rest for the week until next weekend.

[TheOnerous]

Felt unwell last night so decided to get good night's rest.

[TheOnerous]

Attempt

Made three attempts during the night. None successful, for various reasons (moving on waking etc). Now to take a break until next weekend.

[TheOnerous]

Was a rest night last night but still had a phase experience. My memory of it is very poor - the strongest memory of it is waking up in the night and realising I'd been lucid! Quite possibly it was simulated lucidity, as discussed by some folk on here (meaning I only dreamed I was lucid rather than actually being lucid).

Now I will focus on indirect techniques. I feel more in control with indirect techniques than I am relying on becoming conscious in dreams (and becoming conscious in dreams can be a by-product of using indirect techniques anyway!).

Tonight I will try the indirect approach. This time I will cycle the phantom wriggle, brain squeeze, rope climb and listen-in. My goal in the dream - after (hopefully this time!) remembering to deepen by palpation - is to hear music.

[Summerlander]

It is certainly possible to dream of being in the phase but not be in said state at all.  But then again, it is also possible to have a phase experience and not remember it well.  Memory can fail us in any state of consciousness - be it wakefulness, dreaming or the phase state.

This is where I think we can benefit from the idea of having a dream journal and revising our dreams before bed.  It boosts dream recall and our memory of being in the phase will also improve.  It is also a good idea to exercise your memory while awake.  Pick a telephone number in the yellow pages, then put it down and see if you can remember it after 5 minutes.  Improving waking life memory is beneficial too. 

Also, focus on your every action while awake.  If we get used to being mindful in waking life in everything we do, this pattern of behaviour will be carried into our dreams, and, not only will there be more chances of phase entrance via dream consciousness, the experience itself will make more of an impact and is likely to be remembered.

[TheOnerous]

It was one of the two, Summerlander. I think I vaguely remember flying and lots of green plants...and that's it. It's a step in the right direction though.

Not sure if Mr Raduga has covered the subject, but is it a good idea to practise your recall during your break days? (I usually focus on attempts at weekends).

I do practise mindfulness but at the moment I prefer to use it to enjoy the present moment rather than think of it as an aid to achieve lucidity. 

[Summerlander]

Hmmm...yes... I'm not surprised that you remember that part even if it is now vague.  The unusual and exciting sensation of flying is hardly forgettable.

By the way, I think you are right.  Don't strain yourself.  When you decide to practice mindfulness while awake, make it enjoyable.  Remind yourself of how amazing it is that you are alive and experiencing this world.  After all, this is a conscious gift since we come into this world as mysteriously as we leave it.

Cherish the experience.  Do take breaks though but do it fairly often.  Sometimes it is good to take a break and daydream.  By all means do detach yourself from reality when you need to.

Someone once said that, when he planned to enter the phase via dreaming, he performed reality checks every ten minutes on the previous day.  This pattern of behaviour would be carried into dreamland and phase entrance was guaranteed almost every time.  I can't remember who it was now.

Anyway, keep up the good work.

[TheOnerous]

Thanks Summerlander. Yes, I would never want to give up my daydreams I do experience a very nice sensation sometimes when I practise mindfulness - I don't know if anyone else can relate to it. Difficult to describe, but I kind of have a "flashback" to how I felt as a child. A very young child, that is. I guess when we focus on the senses it's similar to how we were as children, before self-talk fills our minds and we are occupied by thoughts on the past and the future.

Attempt

Anyway, last night...

I didn't have the time to practise my intent before sleep as much as I do normally, but I welcomed this in a way because I wanted to see how successful I would still be. I remembered to attempt phase entry twice, and did the cycles. No phase entry, though.

When doing cycles I noticed I was drifting off to sleep and experiencing some HH. These HH were not a product of the cycle techs (I used phantom wriggling, brain squeeze, rope climb and listen-in) so I was wondering if they qualify as "Hints from the mind". I will read that section of SOBT later today.

I will attempt again tonight, but hopefully - if I find the time - I'll do some more work on my intent and thinking about my dream goals.

[Summerlander]

I think I know what you mean and I feel nostalgic too.  Good luck with the phase tonight.  I got HH this morning too.  I was trying to watch them panoramically and then my wife disturbed me. Then, as she was rubbing my back, I could feel the bed beneath me and at the same time I acquired the perspective of sitting on a chair and looking out the windows of a bedroom replica.  The windows were wider and I could see people walking outside.

But it didn't last.  It was fun though because it gave me the sensation of being in two worlds at once.  Good luck tonight!!

[TheOnerous]

Thanks SL. Unfortunately the blog lived up to its name last night; time slipped through my fingers and I didn't get a chance to practise intent and as a result I forgot about the phase on waking. Hopefully tonight 

[TheOnerous]

Attempt

Success came in an unexpected form last night. Time was kind in the evening and I had time to strengthen my intent, practise my cycles and think of my dream goals. So I was set for indirect techniques but instead became conscious in the dream.

I was in a house on the top of a cliff with a couple of people. We were watching a TV documentary about houses falling. They showed some footage, and eerily the footage was of the very house I was in crumbling and falling. Needless to say the house then started to list, and I pretty quickly realised I was in a dream. I nose pinched to make sure. I was pleased with what I did next (progress!) I paused to think what to do. I remembered palpation, but don't think I actually remembered to do it. I also remembered my dream goal to go to the park and go down the slide. I left the house by passing through the wall but was in a strange area, but still wanted to go to the park. So I shouted, "Laser the park's location!" A bright red laser shone down from the sky to the park's location (about a mile away I guess). I woke up. I tried to separate but couldn't then cycled techs but no success. The rest of the night was uneventful.

[TheOnerous]

Attempt

Went to bed, intention set to use indirect techniques, with cycling of phantom wriggling (of hand), brain squeeze, rope climb and listen-in.

Attempt 1: Didn't need to separate. I became aware I was standing by my bed next to the wall. I remembered to palpate (at last!) I touched the wall - initially forgetting that I should be moving while palpating. I walked along the wall sliding my hands over it. When I got to the mirror I slid my hands over the mirror but also looked at my reflecting (which was normal). Next I passed through the wall and found myself in a corridor. Somebody called me back (my wife?) and I went back to the bedroom. I woke up. I tried to separate again without success, then cycled techniques, also without success.

Attempt 2: Memory is vague. Possibly made another attempt during night. Not sure.

[TheOnerous]

Was ill last night so no attempt. Maybe tonight, or will wait till I'm back to 100%.

[TheOnerous]

Still ill so will rest attempts until the weekend.

[TheOnerous]

Attempts

Two attempts last night, neither led to the phase. Will repeat approach tonight (indirect techniques, with cycling of phantom wriggling, brain squeeze, rope climb and listening-in).

[TheOnerous]

Attempt

No success last night. Will apply more focus tonight.

[TheOnerous]

Attempts

Two attempts last night. Tried separation with the following cycle techniques: visualising, imagining sounds and swimming. As is often the case, I had a deferred approached forced on me by waking about 3 and taking a while to settle back to sleep again. No phase success last night. I will try again tonight.

[TheOnerous]

Attempts

No attempts last night, despite going to bed strengthening intent by thinking of the phase and phase goals. What happened? Anyway, time for a break till the weekend.

[TheOnerous]

Yes, the weekend! Looking forward to a weekend of phase attempts! 

[Summerlander]

That's it, mate!  I'm glad you took a break because that can help.  Now you should be motivated enough for a phasefest this weekend!