Re: cant reach the phase

maritina1980 · Post by **maritina1980** » Wed Sep 19, 2012 3:35 pm

Hi

i would appeciate if anyone can help me with the follows .
ive been tried for a long time to catch the right moment to get the phase with no sucees whatsoener. The main problem is that i cant remember to set the indirect technics immediately upon awaking. The next day i always say it will be with out mooving and the indirects tec will follow but the same thing happens. Have you got any advice for my situation. thanks.

TheOnerous · Post by **TheOnerous** » Wed Sep 19, 2012 5:50 pm

I have had the same problem. I'm not saying this is the way forward for you, but this is how I'm going to approach it: I'm going to focus on dream recall and trying to become conscious in dreams (DILD) and when these dreams end I will attempt separation. In SOBT, Mr Raduga gives guidance on when to rest (or stop) trying indirect techniques and attempt to enter the phase by becoming conscious in the dream.

maritina1980 · Post by **maritina1980** » Wed Sep 19, 2012 6:16 pm

A lot of times i have thought about the tec for Lucid dreams but how ami supposed to do it if havent a single dream.As regard you, you had got some phaces so you dont need to worry about.

thanks for your reply

breadbassed · Post by **breadbassed** » Wed Sep 19, 2012 10:43 pm

You dream every night, you just rarely remember many of them at all, if any. I would just say keep trying and be patient. Also dont be too hard on yourself if you don't achieve dream consciousness. Just keep at it, it will come!

12padams · Post by **12padams** » Thu Sep 20, 2012 5:27 am

maritina1980 wrote: A lot of times i have thought about the tec for Lucid dreams but how ami supposed to do it if havent a single dream.As regard you, you had got some phaces so you dont need to worry about.

thanks for your reply

Ah yes, just because you dont remember having dreams at night it doesn't mean that you don't have them. The more you focus on them the more you remember of your dreams each night and the higher your chance of spontaneous or planned phase entry/lucidity. The less you focus on them... The less you remember them. Eventually lack of focusing on your dreams entirely for a long period of time makes you not remember any dreams at all.

Since you are unable to recall your dreams at all you may be thinking "if I don't remember dreams at all, how can I improve my dream recall?" Well what you must now do is increase your chances of remembering at least a fragment of a single dream. Once you get that fragment your chances of recalling a bigger fragment will occur the next time you awaken. From there you can greatly improve your memory to the point of being able to wake up and spend hours writing down your dreams in great detail every day.

So how can you induce the ability to remember one fragment? The answer is simple... Interrupted sleep. Simply set an alarm for 4am then see if you can recall any dreams after spending about 5 minutes attempting to recall even a single fragment. The chances of you remembering anything at this point in time is low so once you have had a good try go back to sleep with intention to remember your next dream. You should awaken next at about 5:30am however do not set an alarm... It should happen naturally. At this point repeat what you did at 4am and try to recall any dream fragments. If you have time go to sleep again and you should this time wake up at about 7am naturally with a very high chance of recalling a dream.

Try this every night for a week. Once you can start recalling dreams you will no longer need to interrupt your sleep. You will be able to wake up and write a least one page of dreams per day without interrupting your sleep after enough practice.

Good luck

maritina1980 · Post by **maritina1980** » Thu Sep 20, 2012 7:09 am

Guys, thank you all for your try to help me.
Mr Raduga said somewhere that inderect tecs are easier and more straightforward than tecs for lucid dreams, thats why i concetrate my self in the former.In addition,according to the sobt if you try properly lucidity may come spontanewsly or something like that. Anyway, is it possible to try to recall dreams and indirects tec together or one thing at a time.

And please something else i would like to ask. Is it really that all these proccedures are for everyone i mean for ordinary people because i have never done yoga or any kind of meditation before. But if it is for every single person i definetely want experience it.

12padams · Post by **12padams** » Thu Sep 20, 2012 12:56 pm

according to the sobt if you try properly lucidity may come spontanewsly or something like that

Yes, simply filling your mind with thoughts about lucid dreaming/the phase by reading about it and desiring to enter it can induce a spontaneous experience. That will only happen however if you can actually remember your dreams. If not then you may have an experience but just like a normal dream you will forget it as if it never happened.

Anyway, is it possible to try to recall dreams and indirects tec together or one thing at a time.

Yes and no... The indirect techniques should not be practiced on a night in which you wish to improve your dream recall. This is because to improve your dream recall you must write down your dreams as soon as you awaken from them. The indirect techniques however require you to attempt phase entry upon awakening and if you fail you must attempt going back to sleep without moving so you can try again on the next awakening.

Conscious awakenings and good dream recall noticeably increases your success with anything phase related. Conscious awakenings occur more frequently when your dream recall is higher. In other words having good dream recall will greatly improve your success rate with indirect techniques but you can not work on dream recall on nights you attempt the indirect techniques. So you must make your own schedule in which some days you improve your dream recall and other days you attempt indirect techniques. Here's an example of one:

Monday: Indirect Techniques
Tuesday: Improve Dream Recall
Wednesday: Indirect Techniques
Thursday: Improve Dream Recall
Friday: Improve Dream Recall
Saturday: Indirect Techniques
Sunday: Rest/Break Day

Is it really that all these proccedures are for everyone i mean for ordinary people because i have never done yoga or any kind of meditation before. But if it is for every single person i definetely want experience it.

These techniques may not suit everyone but overall they have a high success rate based on Michael Raduga's experiments. Previous experience with meditation and yoga is not required for you to succeed with these techniques but in some cases it may make phase entry easier due to the ability to remain conscious while your mind wonders (a common practice in meditation).

With that being said however there are people who find that indirect techniques are not for them. I am one of those people due to my urge to use the toilet each time I awaken. Remaining still and falling back to sleep after a failed attempt is very important because it programs the body to believe you are actually asleep when you wake up. This increases your chances of waking in sleep paralysis (a great phase launch pad) and even waking up completely conscious in the phase rather than physically.

I wish you the best of luck and remember that confidence is the key to the phase state. You are more likely to enter it if you:
1. Believe it exists.
2. Believe you can enter it.
3. Believe it's easy to succeed.

The more confidence you have the higher your chances of succeeding. Welcome to the beginning of your new life

maritina1980 · Post by **maritina1980** » Sun Sep 30, 2012 9:18 am

Hello to everyone.

Two days ago by the means of indirect technics i managed to reach the phase level but it was difficult i can say impossible to seperate.
i had strong vibrations and i heard people talking with strange voice not familiar voices. The trooth is iwas afraid so i wasnt so agressive to separat according to the sobt.

If this happens again what is the best thing to do? and what is the translocation the same time you enter the phase can you clarify please?
And are there anyone else of you that afraid to enter despite the fact that he or she wishes to do it?

Thanks
Maritina

12padams · Post by **12padams** » Sun Sep 30, 2012 10:22 pm

If this happens again what is the best thing to do? and what is the translocation the same time you enter the phase can you clarify please?
And are there anyone else of you that afraid to enter despite the fact that he or she wishes to do it?

Understand that what ever you encounter in the phase can't actually hurt you physically. Well... that's slightly debatable since the placebo effect can physically heal you in the phase state so can it also hurt you? Lets just put that aside though because its not like you are going into the phase to take a pill aimed at making your physical heart stop. I really doubt the phase can harm you but in reality any tool can do both harm and good.

Translocation upon separation is a good way to escape fear but you really should just face it. Go up to those scary people and ask them who they are, why they are there and if they can show you around the phase. If you do want to escape however just close your eyes during separation and imagine you are at a different place (e.g. Getting out of a pool) and you will be there when you separate rather than in your bedroom.

Am I afraid... Yes lol check out some of these quotes from my own experiences:

Day 286
I awoke in my bed after dreaming and felt unusually scared in the darkness. Something didn't feel right and my body felt more numb than it usually did upon awakening. My fear dramatically escalated however when I noticed a demonic 6 year old girl with black hair standing to the left of my bed. As I briefly glanced at her from the corner of my eye she was touching me and whispering in my ear in a ghostly tone.

"I have to deactivate sleep paralysis and move back to reality" I thought. I quickly tried to move my body yet it was completely frozen. With great force however I managed to turn over to my stomach in slow motion and do a push up to get onto my knees. At this point I quickly climbed out of bed and stood terrified in my nonphysical bedroom.

Day 332
"I quickly stepped out of my bedroom into the dramatically altered and complex dark hell-like environment which somewhat resembled the layout of my apartment. The walls and ceiling were incomplete with missing chunks scattered throughout them. Although I could effortlessly see through the 1 meter by 1 meter gaps in the walls I was unable to see anything outside my apartment. The dark, rusty and fiery block-like surroundings seemed to extend out infinitely."

Day 77
"My heart stopped as I watched the shadow of a mysterious creature swiftly move around behind my bedroom door. In both real life and in the phase my sliding bedroom door is made from foggy glass that allows light but not imagery to pass through. Instinctively I believed that I was seeing the silhouette of â€œthe wildcatâ€

maritina1980 · Post by **maritina1980** » Mon Oct 01, 2012 8:00 am

Nothing bad happens in the phase. And nobody can harm you there. This is clear but the night everything changes and i fell fear.
The fear makes me to go back because lately the phase comes easily to me, just to think about it and iam ready to enter then i was thinking what is going to happen and the state disapears and the next monent i regret and i always say the next time you must to do it and so on........

Lets see if i have understand the translocation and sepetation toghether. Lets say that i hear sounds or fell vibrations that means i must separate no matter what. But iam afraid, so i imagine iam somewhere else in a specific road or somewhere ( i hate pools). You said close your eyes and imagine but most of the times before the separation the eyes are closed or you see darkness. I have just to imagine right?

Iam not a native speaker my language is completly different than yours. If you know Cyprus(kipros)island.

The phase must be an amazing place if you have encountered so much fear but you still experience it.

Thanks

Maritina

12padams · Post by **12padams** » Mon Oct 01, 2012 8:45 am

But iam afraid, so i imagine iam somewhere else in a specific road or somewhere ( i hate pools). You said close your eyes and imagine but most of the times before the separation the eyes are closed or you see darkness. I have just to imagine right?

Yes, just imagine you are somewhere else. The reason I used the example of a pool is because the heaviness you experience when separating from your body could somewhat transform to the heaviness you experience when exiting/climbing out of a pool. In other words translocating to climbing out of a pool gives you a higher level of sensory input more similar to separating from your body than simply imaging you are standing at the side of a road.

Oh and why do I keep entering the phase even though I am scared? Because I've made contact with a guy in the phase that calls himself "the somebody". I want to get to know this guy and have him as my phase companion. Sadly I rarely try to enter the phase anymore due to lack of time...

Post by **Summerlander** » Fri Oct 05, 2012 2:02 pm

The main problem is that i cant remember to set the indirect technics immediately upon awaking. The next day i always say it will be with out mooving and the indirects tec will follow but the same thing happens. Have you got any advice for my situation. thanks.

Practice indirect techniques in your head during the day. Reinforce the memory of them during the day in the waking state. Also, try the deferred method in conjunction and revise the relevant SOBT chapter before going back to bed after an awakening.

maritina1980 · Post by **maritina1980** » Fri Oct 05, 2012 8:15 pm

Thanks for your reply Summerlander,

I have already started to practice indirects techniques during the day. But how many time do i must dedicate in these inorder to remember them immediately upon awaking?

Maritina

Post by **Summerlander** » Fri Oct 05, 2012 10:21 pm

That's a very difficult question to answer (given how different from one another we are)... or easy in a way (if in my answer I stress certain vital elements that will aid your practice besides simply saying that repetition of something until it 'sticks' is one basic way of doing it).

First and foremost... you have to want to do it. Also, bear in mind that the shortcut lies in trying to separate first before cycling through indirect techniques is considered.

It can very much depend on the individual, their upbringing and the effort they apply in reinforcing their memory by developing connections in their minds (not to mention the physiology of cerebral parts such as the hippocampus which plays a role in consolidating memory). It is worth remembering that the brain can change in tandem with changes in behaviour. So, for instance, if you decide to learn a new skill and take up on a practice, you are very likely to develop new neural connections overtime and hence the reason why the difficult can become easy.

Technicalities aside, perhaps you can play fun mind games to help you remember the techniques, and, once it becomes natural, you can perform them robotically - without giving the action much thought - when the right time comes. The mind games (of which I'm about to introduce an example) are supposed to help you with becoming captivated (or even enamoured) with the act of cycling through indirect techniques. I'd like to stress that a high degree of intention is the main key here.

Perhaps associate the types of techniques you have chosen with something that you already like or find interesting. This will help you to remember as strong emotions accompany the process and these are like fuel for the endurance of memories.

For example, if you are a philosopher and know a plethora of maxims (think about what makes you remember the things that matter to you most), you might want to use the proverbial "see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil" (picture the three wise monkeys if you like) to help you remember the order you devised for cycling through the techniques if you equate what each monkey represents with a specific action in the phase practice context:

See no evil = visualisation
Hear no evil = Listening in
Speak no evil = vibrations (straining the brain; mobile phone)

If you know the proverb really well, the content that you are trying to recall will immediately be brought to the forefront of your consciousness. Another way is to associate the cycles with something that resides in the long-term memory domain or even something which is common knowledge. Once again, I stress that intention is the key and do not let failures dishearten you.

Memory is very important for future planning. There is evidence that the same brain mechanism associated with the function of memory also plays a vital role in future planning. What we are is defined by our thoughts and memories. Memories provide the analogies we need for planning and problem solving.

On a side note...

It is no surprise then that people with depression (especially the suicidal) tend to have a vague recollection of events or are, in the least, vague in descriptive detail. People can make a big mistake in trying to forget things too and issues go unresolved. Hence why it is important to talk about the things that afflict us rather than burying them in oblivion. They will only resurface as constant painful sensations and the instinct for survival quickly becomes the source of self-destruction. Talking about what has gone on and addressing the issues is the key to tackling the problem at hand and becoming more able to solving future problems. One of the practical uses of the phase state is the ability to access memories of unpleasant events and relive them in a positive light, by, say, doing what you wish you could have done in a particular situation or exercising the best course of action if it were to happen again.

Perhaps it is also worth remembering the patterns of addictive and/or compulsive behaviour. In recent studies, OCD has even been linked to great short-term and long-term memories!! And finally, when you really wish to remember something, remind yourself and really reinforce the following idea repeatedly - but instead of:

...have it in a more positive light:

maritina1980 · Post by **maritina1980** » Sat Oct 06, 2012 3:36 pm

You've helped me a lot summerlander and thank you for that.

I wonder if you have any advice about the fear that i feel every time that iam ready to enter. Fear, make me always to postpone the phase for
the next time.Then i always regret and get angry with me. 12padams was very helpful too, but i wonder if you have something else to say.

Maritina.

Post by **Summerlander** » Mon Oct 08, 2012 8:15 pm

Fear is a common problem in the phase and more occurrent for the novice and the esoterically inclined (it won't help if you read unreliable literature like getting spiritual protection or learning self-defence to ward-off "astral attacks" either). Fearful experiences also happen to those who hold a more materialistic outlook but not as often compared to inexperienced practitioners and those who take to mystical or spiritualistic views. In fact, for the experienced materialist, fearful events (like being attacked by monsters) in the phase are a rarity. In any case, experienced phase practitioners can avert fearful situations as they have more confidence in controlling the phase space content, and, if necessary, they will face the unpleasantness head on and counteract it.

It is also a good idea to find out what is causing the fearful events to manifest and understand that the only thing that attacks a phaser is fear itself. Sometimes, the source can be found at a deep psychological level. For example, in Stephen LaBerge's Exploring the World of Lucid Dreaming, he provides the example of a woman who had recurring nightmares after engaging in a debate about altruism versus egotism. She vehemently argued against her more conceited fellow debaters and was very much in favour of selflessness. At night, however, she dreamt that she was being chased by a horrible monster who wanted to kill her. The fear was intense until one day, before bedtime, she asserted to herself that if she found herself in that situation again, she would become aware of dreaming it and then face the beast.

She fell asleep and the situation manifested itself again. This time, however, while she ran from the monster, she recognised the event as a dream sign and became conscious of dreaming. The beast was right behind her but she decided to face her fear and turned around. She asked the monster why it plagued her so and this one quickly turned into a little innocuous-looking critter before melancholically replying to her like a child having a mild tantrum. Apparently, the being was frustrated at the fact that the woman paid more attention to others and always ran away from him. He felt neglected and didn't like being avoided. She had an epiphany then...

The monster was a representation of her own ego - or at least how she viewed it - but she was beginning to learn that it wasn't such a bad thing. It was an inherent aspect of herself who felt threatened, and, as an important part of our instinct for survival, it cannot be denied. As much as altruism is an admirable quality, one must find a balance by adopting a little egoism. She understood that she is a person, too, who's got feelings and needs like everyone else. The balance between altruism and egoism is what makes compromise possible and she was then able to be more positive in her debates.

After her realisation, while in the phase, she comforted the little being and perked up its spirit in a positive light by telling him that, while she cared for others, she would never forget about him. The being smiled and walked away to never be seen again. The recurrent nightmare was over. If she wanted to, she could even make friends with him in subsequent phase experiences and be even more thankful that she had the nightmares.

There are many types of fear in the phase but the most common is that which stems from our instinct of self-preservation (hence why death is widely feared). This can be a problem for many novices. To overcome it, incremental steps can be taken when entering the phase. Gradually, one can go from exploring the vicinity of one's environment to venturing out into the unknown.

As a novice, I used to have fearful experiences all the time. Eventually, I faced one of my demonic figures and realised that, just by telling it "you are not real", I could change its form and turn it into something pleasant. I discovered that I was in more control than previously thought. Realise that there is no real danger and this in itself will encourage real progress in practice. Fear only has one upside: it can prolong the phase state. But it can also hinder your attempt to carry out any plan of action if not curbed in time, and, let's face it, there are more pleasant ways to maintain and manage the phase.

The best solution for a fearful situation in the phase is to tackle it head on. You can even eradicate phobias this way and become a braver person in the wakeful state. Running away or translocating away from the perceived danger will only serve as a temporary solution. Sooner or later whatever is after you will find you because your fear has not been addressed.

You'll be fine. When you are nearing the phase and the vibrations or any other sensation is peaking, just think: I'm not going to let my fear get in the way of the wonderful experiences I can have.

maritina1980 · Post by **maritina1980** » Wed Oct 10, 2012 7:41 am

Thank you summerlander

Iam going to do as you said. The desire to reach the phase state for me, is beyond the fear so, iam going to do it sooner or later.

Maritina.

maritina1980 · Post by **maritina1980** » Fri Oct 12, 2012 8:00 am

Last night i was determind to enter the phase. So,i had an awaking at 3.00 o'clock,i started to do indirects techniques nothing happend,but i knew that, later on somehow the phase will come to me it is always like that i dont know why. Anyway, i dont remember the way i entered i dont remember vibrations or strange sounds i remember that i did a reality check those with the nose. I got up and deppened, i remember running into my bedroom then i was rubbing my hands. i had decided the first phases spended in my house inorder to understand how the state works. As i had depened i went to the living room nothing strange there everything almost the same i started to call a living object i was calling several times according to the sobt with loud voice, at the same time i was turning around with the hope to see the object i was calling and wallking into the house and then i went to the front door but the object didnt come.

I was so happy i was able to enter the phase i remember i said this all the time when i was in this state, but i dissapointed i couldnt see the simulated object. What was the mistake?
I did everything i have read.

I woke up and didnt try to enter again i was tired and i wanted some sleep i had to wake up at 6 o clock.
The morning i had forgotten half of the experience.

Maritina.

Post by **Summerlander** » Sun Oct 14, 2012 7:11 pm

Have absolute confidence that the living object will make an appearance. Sometimes a little doubt can set you back. You did well to deepen (I usually spend ten seconds on it). Then, every action I do is like maintaining as I pay close attention to the realistic sensations. When doing anything in the phase (like summoning people) one must do it with real intention and not for the sake of appearances. Really give it your all.

Another thing to take into account is the deferred method. It can help greatly! The following is a great and effective way to enter the phase (consider it as a useful recap)...

DEFERRED INDIRECT METHOD

- Go to bed around 11pm-midnight and sleep soundly for a good six hours (it's ideal).
- Stay up for about half an hour (it's a decent sleep inertia period after your awakening). During this period of wakefulness you can revise the relevant SOBT chapter, go over your plan of action, have a glass of water, use the toilet, or engage in any other activity.
- Go back to bed and fall asleep with an intention to enter the phase at the next awakening.
- Upon an awakening without movement, attempt separation from the body. If there is movement or separation fails, start cycling through your chosen techniques (e.g. phantom wiggling, observing images, listening in) spending about 3-5 seconds on each. If nothing happens after 4 cycles, fall asleep with the intention to catch the next awakening to reach the phase.
- If a sensation arises from alternating between techniques, stick with it and amplify it (i.e. vibrations, images, sounds etc.). Bare in mind that the FFA (forced falling asleep) technique can be used in conjunction with indirect techniques and it is highly effective. If separation fails or sensations do not augment, ask yourself if a minute has passed. If it has, fall asleep with intention. If it hasn't, continue to amplify sensations and then make another separation attempt.
- Once the sensation or sensations reach a peak, separation is very likely to be successful. Separate with confidence and don't worry about the outcome.
- In the phase, remember to deepen, manage and maintain the state. Carry out your plan of action.
- In the case of a foul, reenter the phase state. A foul does not mean the end of the experience.

maritina1980 · Post by **maritina1980** » Tue Oct 16, 2012 9:02 am

The differed method is an optimum and effective strategy for entering the phase, but unfortunately is not for me. My sleep is a mess. Differed method requires a lot of hours to sleep i dont have so many hours. I wish i could sleep for so long. So, i wake up naturaly at about 3 or 4 o' clock and i start indirect techniques then i sleep again and i wake up for good at six o'clock.

Is finding with calling a name a most effective method or i must try something else? what do you say?
Because iam afraid that,from now on i will doubt if i can do it properly.

Thank you summerlander.

Maritina.

dreamsrock · Post by **dreamsrock** » Tue Oct 16, 2012 7:10 pm

Hi Martina! Lots Of sleep might be best, but you can still do it with less sleep. Take for example what i did yesterday. I went to bed at 9:30 PM woke up at 1:30 AM stayed up for 15 minutes, went back to bed And had 2 amazing lucid dreams back-to-back!

maritina1980 · Post by **maritina1980** » Wed Oct 17, 2012 7:09 am

Hello dreamsrock

You can enter the phase every 90 minutes according to the sobt.But in the middle of the night you maybe falling asleep in the middle of the experience. Days ago i tried an enter to the phase and while i was separating felt asleep. An other drawback is that you cant remember everything in details when you wake up in the morning. But if i havent got any other chance i must do it in the middle of the night.

As regard your experience, you just stayed up for 15 minutes and went to bed nothing else? No techniques. You maybe had a strong intension.Is that right?

Iam not a native speaker so forgive my mistakes.
Maritina.

dreamsrock · Post by **dreamsrock** » Wed Oct 17, 2012 2:15 pm

Sorry About that, I should have given you more details. Yes I did have strong intention. I also practice cycling techniques as I am falling back to sleep. I completely agree with what you said about falling asleep during techniques. I do that a lot. That is the best thing about becoming lucid in a dream. No falling asleep during techniques. Also, after a phase I am always wide-awake and can remember very well. But if I do not record the experience I will forget the details by the time I wake up In the morning.

Post by **Summerlander** » Wed Oct 17, 2012 3:47 pm

maritina1980 wrote:
The differed method is an optimum and effective strategy for entering the phase, but unfortunately is not for me. My sleep is a mess. Differed method requires a lot of hours to sleep i dont have so many hours. I wish i could sleep for so long. So, i wake up naturaly at about 3 or 4 o' clock and i start indirect techniques then i sleep again and i wake up for good at six o'clock.

Is finding with calling a name a most effective method or i must try something else? what do you say?
Because iam afraid that,from now on i will doubt if i can do it properly.

Thank you summerlander.

Maritina.

Have confidence. The deferred method can be used with naps too. Calling a name should do, if not, try other techniques for finding objects in the phase.

maritina1980 · Post by **maritina1980** » Sun Oct 21, 2012 12:32 pm

Last night, i was in the phase for quite a long time and i didnt understand it, until it was too late it has finished. i tossed to my bed and at the same time iwas saying " why i cant sleep" ? And suddenly i realized that i wasnt in my bedroom. I was in a bedroom used to sleep when i was a student. I wasnt in readiness to do something to bring the state immediately. What a dissapointment!

Maritina.

Post by **Summerlander** » Tue Oct 23, 2012 10:45 am

That's okay. At least you recognised the state for what it was. It takes practice. I used to get disappointed a lot and then a good and long-lasting phase experience would cheer me up. These days I am more experienced so mistakes don't disappoint me that much because I know I can bring about the good times too with a little more focus.

maritina1980 · Post by **maritina1980** » Tue Oct 30, 2012 7:23 am

Almost every night I try to experience and learn at the same time something more about the phase. Yet, the progress is'nt satisfying. A problem that appered now is the separation. Most of the times I was pulling back and then I'm out again, and before I understand it iam back again. I do this four to five times until I give up.

Maritina.