Molecule's phasewalk

[Molecule]

Ok, I created this diary as another motivator to finally get into the phase and will try to make daily entries no matter if I finally succeed or not. Stay tuned.

[Summerlander]

Good luck! I hope you succeed! Remember to deepen, maintain and manage the phase. Have an interesting plan of action for it!

[Molecule]

I just got out of bed after taking a nap combined with a relaxation session where I would relax my body to the point where I can hardly feel it anymore. I actually got quite deep and ended up in this "in between" state where one is awake but one's general perception is all over the place (wandering thoughts/impressions/feelings etc.). I thought this would be a good time to just practice cycling through the indirect techniques which I did. So my cycles consisted of a variation of phantom wiggling, straining the brain, looking at images (mostly I was staring at a sort of the black space though) and rotation along the axis.

All of those felt different in this dreamlike/dozing state than they feel when I practice them being awake. I was definitely in a different and quite deep state but doubt that it was the phase since neither of the techniques produced a significant effect except the first time I tried straining the brain. This felt as if I was moving towards my field of vision (which makes no sense when I read it now) and remembering the passage in the manual I pursued the technique since it at least produced some effect....but that also was a dead end. Anyway, I was not really moving nor did I have a perceived moving sensation in my phantom body. There were also no vibrations or sounds present. The only significant thing was that I know that I had dreamlike moments which I could not remember the second after they happened no matter how hard I tried remembering them.

I hope that writing down even my non-phase sensations will help me to get more focused on entering the phase in general and maybe I will even get some pointers or suggestions from you guys what to do differently. Heck, I am still only half out of that state sitting in front of my computer at the moment so please excuse if the above doesn't make much sense :-P

@Summerlander: Rest assured that the first thing I will do when I actually succeed and get vision in the phase is palpating all over the place! The only plan of action for now is getting vision and if so looking at a mirror and levitating in place. I am quite sure that I will be very excited once I reach consciousness within the phase so I guess this plan should be enough for the first time.

[Summerlander]

I have no doubt that excitement will hit you once you succeed. Don't be surprised if your reflection looks out-of-this-world. You will be out of this world in a sense...

[Molecule]

Day 1: I woke up in the morning and actually managed to stay still and immediately used the indirect techniques as best as I could, cycling through those which came up in my head (PW, ROT, L@Images etc.) and I think I successfully managed 3 complete cycles and a lot of phantom wiggling in between when I could not remember which one to use next after the previous one did not produce any effects.

Unfortunately none of the used techniques produced any effects at all which might have to do with the fact that I was quite awake already when I gained consciousness. I tried forced falling asleep and managed to drift in and out of the "in between" state for a few moments but still no effects.

I will probably try another day time nap to use the indirect techniques again upon awakening and will update here if so.

[Summerlander]

Have you tried to separate first thing upon an awakening?

[Molecule]

Day 2:

I actually did this "morning" or rather last night. I tried so massively that I am quite sure that I achieved at least full lucidity in my dream dreaming that I achieved OBE. The problem is that the memory started to fade and get "unreal" as soon as I woke up today so now I am sitting here being unsure of what I actually experienced :-( I still vividly remember me palpating all over the place when my vision sort of "melted" from the inside out. I was rolling out of bed many times but I have no way of telling if this was my phantom body or if it was a real movement. This is soooooooooo frustrating even though last night's experience was one of the most lucid I ever had so far (or that I can remember)!

[Molecule]

Day 3: My wife woke me up so no chance to try any indirect techniques :-(

[Summerlander]

Remember, an attempt at entering the phase within 5 minutes after an awakening is not considered to be a breach of the indirect method. But at least you are familiarising yourself with the phantom body. Uncertainty can be reduced through practice. Always think that you are in the phase and perform reality checks. Get into the habit of questioning your reality!

[Molecule]

Day 4:

Caught some nasty flu bug or something like that. No practice with that kind of headache for me in the next couple of days.

[Summerlander]

Unless you use the phase in order to self-heal apart from any medication you might be prescribed by a doctor. It could be an opportunity to use the placebo effect which is doubly effective in the phase state.

[Molecule]

Hmmm.............interesting. I never thought of that. On the other hand I first have to achieve my first stable experience to even think about applying something like this...

[Summerlander]

Yeah, I guess you're right actually...

[Molecule]

Recovered from that flu bug. Will continue my attempts from tomorrow morning on.

[Summerlander]

You can continue your practice now. Enjoy the phase, my friend!

[Molecule]

Day 5:

Woke up but was so drowsy that I was unable to finish even one cycle of indirect techniques twice in a row without dozing off again after trying rolling out immediately. I re-read the section for phantom wiggling/movement (including rolling out) since it is the only technique I can remember most of the time but still I don't understand how one can move without actually moving but also not just imagining the movement at the same time. Makes no sense as I can only do a real movement or an imagined one...

[Summerlander]

Really move when the time is right. Don't imagine it. Don't tense your muscles either. Just move. If there is resistance then you become aggressive. When I first started, to overcome this problem, I started by rolling out from the head first and I found that the rest of my phantom body followed.

[Molecule]

"... Don't tense your muscles either. Just move..." This is exactly the concept which makes no sense at all for me. You either move physically or you imagine the movement (even if you pretend the "kinetic" feeling you still imagine it). I fully believe that just trying to separate shortly after awakening is the most effective way to get into the phase but as long as I don't understand the previous part it will elude me I guess

[Molecule]

Day 6:

Woke up with a vague memory of rolling to the side with my phantom body following shortly after but I have no idea if this was influenced by what you wrote previously or if it was something I really experienced. Man, I never thought this would be so frustrating! It's a real bummer to have the memory tampered with by the waking consciousness shortly after you wake up.

[Summerlander]

Try rolling from the head first and feel the rest of the body following you. Like I said, it has nothing to do with imagination. Really move but avoid tensing your muscles or even thinking about tensing them. Like you are carrying out a relaxed movement. Just move. Just go for it and don't give it much thought. One of the reasons why problems are encountered by the novice is that they think too much about how they will carry out the instructions in the guidebook.

You could even simply get out of bed quickly upon an awakening and find yourself in the phase. If it fails and you really do move physically, then proceed to the execution of indirect techniques and intensify any strange sensations that arise. Once they reach their peak, attempt another separation. The chances of moving with your phantom body will be higher when the time is right.

Once in the phase, remember to deepen and have a plan of action ready in mind. Upon awakening, think about your phase experience for a minute and nothing else. Think about what you accomplished. Relive it in memory. Then write it down in the present tense, as though you are still there, and you may find that more details will come to mind.

Sometimes it can be hard to remember things, not just in the phase but in waking life too. The deeper the phase and the more focused you maintain yourself (plan of action and strong intension can help) the better. You'll get there. Just practice. We all have our bad moments sometimes but once we nail a good phase there is nothing like it!

[Molecule]

Day 7:

Went to be at midnight and woke up again and again around 2:30am. Tried rolling out every time but to no effect. This time I didn't even think about the indirect techniques at all. Same for waking up again at 8:30am.

[Molecule]

Day 8:

Performed indirect techniques upon awakening with no effect.

[Molecule]

Decided to take a break because I really feel frustrated about the topic right now. Will try again in a week or so to give myself some time to relax and then start fresh.

[Summerlander]

No worries. In your own time and you may even find yourself having spontaneous phase entrances during your break. The dream consciousness method is a good alternative too.

[Molecule]

Holy moly....

Summerlander, I think you have a crystal ball somewhere I took a break as announced and went to take a 7 day-holiday in Egypt et voila.......On the second day or so I went to take a nap after having lunch and was in a constant light sleep state for about 3-4 hours fading in and out of sleep. My intention must have been strong since I suddenly stood next to my bed (it was night time). First I was confused because I did not remember waking up or getting out of bed nor that my wife was in bed on my side of the bed sleeping. The experience was not completely vivid/real at first until I remembered the pinched nose test which I did and to my utter surprise I was able to breathe through my pinched nose which increased my conscious awareness by a great deal!!! I got really excited and remembered the "go to the mirror first" suggestion from the ebook and the forum and did exactly that.

I don't remember actually walking there but somehow I just suddenly was in the bathroom (it was neither my current nor my bathroom at home) and got in front of the mirror. I saw my face down to my shoulders and it appeared to be me but I must have focused on my face too long and too intensively as it started to sort of "wobble". The next thing I remember is that I opened my eyes for real in my bed. Boy was I excited (and still am)!!! The whole experience lasted about 10-15 seconds (from what I can remember).

I am now quite sure that my previous entry (Day 6) was also a successful attempt since I noticed the following:

- Even though the experience was close to being as realistic as my waking state experience the memory of the whole time frame feels kind of strange. Let me explain:

1. The memory feels "implanted" after I wake up from the experience as if it was put there by someone/something else. It is hard to explain in words.
2. The memory fades like that of a dream recall and is not as accessible as the pure recall of a waking experience I have during the day time.

- I spotted several mistakes I made (probably because I did not expect it to happen spontaneously):

1. I did not have a plan of action but only did the pinched nose breathing and rubbed my hands together briskly for 1-3 seconds which increased my vision to near-realistic as far as I can recall.
2. I did not deepen long enough due to the pure excitement I felt, realising that I am FINALLY in the phase consciously for the first time in my life!
3. I hyper-focused on details of my face in the mirror for a few seconds without having deepened the phase beforehand resulting in an immediate foul.

Other observations:

- I cannot recall if I had a bodily perception. I know I had a body but I did not pay attention if I actually have one which I can touch (I did not look down to see what the rest looks like but only the mirror image).
- The environment was a mixture of my current environment and details I cannot consciously recall having seen before in any previous bathroom.
- The time of day was different compared to the "actual" time.
- I did not try to get back into the phase immediately after the foul but rather woke up fully awake and excited to have finally done it.

Questions:

- Did or do any of you have the same strange "implanted" feeling when it comes to phase memory?
- Now that I know that I can actually enter the phase at least spontaneously I still have that obstacle of understanding the "moving without actually moving" concept (e.g. phantom wiggling) which is my preferred method of indirect technique as I am a kinestetic person with primary senses of touching and seeing (I do not recall having sounds in my dreams ever or at least sounds do not register in my dream memory).
- Is anyone of you willing to have a skype conversation with me since I really need someone to talk to verbally who has extensive knowledge with the phase. I know it is a lot to ask but as you might know it is so much better to actually talk to someone instead of writing it down and to wait for a reply. It would mean a lot to me

[Summerlander]

See, I knew this was bound to happen. I'm glad you experienced the phase somewhat more intensely and I can relate to the implanted memory thing but I can say that memory gets better with practice. The key is to always work towards maintaining conscious awareness, which goes hand in hand with boosting memory. You may also find yourself remembering more details of the experience throughout the day. That's normal. Keep up the good work. Take heed of literature from Michael Raduga, Stephen LaBerge, Celia Green and literature on oneirology (can help too).

[Molecule]

Yes, I knew immediately after the foul that I did not deepen enough. I guess my excitement was too great to finally be in the phase so I only rubbed my hands for a few seconds instead of palpating for a longer time until the phase would be more stable. Lesson learned

Now I have to get the indirect techniques to work. So far I didn't have the slightest success of making any of the techniques work but I will keep trying.

[Molecule]

Nothing to report since my last post. Had a few unsuccessful attempts with the direct techniques since my last post. I figured out that my bedroom is too bright in the morning and decided to look for a comfy sleeping mask somewhere. Do any of you have experience with such a mask and its effect?

[Molecule]

After not trying to get into the phase for quite a while now I had another spontaneous experience yesterday morning. I must have woken up and fallen asleep again and suddenly found myself in an unknown bathroom standing in front of my wife who was sitting on the bathtub rim. I realized too late that I am in the phase so despite the instantaneous hand rubbing and trying to palpate as much as possible the experience lasted maybe 4-5 seconds max.

[Molecule]

Just had another spontaneous phase experience. Actually two (1 false awakening).
I got up in the morning with my wife to make her coffee (drank one myself) and went back to bed an hour after she left for work. I thought about having a phase experience again and after that drifted in and out of sleep for a few hours. I suddenly heard a sound and thought it was the lady that cleans the flat. I got out of bed and opened the bedroom door to have a look who it is. To my surprise it was indeed the cleaning lady but one I did not know. At that time I realised that I am in the phase but immediately fouled just to wake up (false) to exactly the same circumstances again. This time I looked at an older lady and a couple who just returned home with their little girl. I was suddenly standing in that girl's room which was mostly very colorfully furnitured (green). After double-checking that I am indeed in the phase (breathing through pinched nose) I immediately started touching everything I could stabilising my view which was a bit wobbly at that time. I tried to talk to the girl and she reacted to me even though I don't recall what I said exactly and what she replied.
Suddenly the old woman and the mother came into the room looking at me sceptically. I had the feeling that they regarded me as an intruder but yet a familiar one since there was no alarm or fear in their faces or reactions. The mother came close to me and looked at me from all sides. After that she pushed me back into a sitting position on the bed and started undressing in a sexual at which point I fouled out of the experience because I closed my eyes for a moment because that was quite an arousing moment...

All perceptions were crystal clear and as real as in the waking experience complete with touch and sound. It's been quite a while since I tried to enter the phase but this time (again) it was spontaneous and based on the pure wish to end up in the phase. I expressed that wish a few times before but never when I came out from being half asleep and drifting back into sleep again shortly after. I guess my subconsciousness obeyed my wish in this in-between state. I don't know since this is still all very new to me.

I realise that I did not have a plan of action in place which asked for an early foul. I will definitely see if I can duplicate this spontaneous phase entry in the next few days.

All in all I am surprised and quite happy to have had the chance to go "there" again. I need to remember to fly!!!